


Eddsword one shots

by Chira



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Can you spot the sour patch kids?, I take requests, If people ask, M/M, My endings are great, One shots that I might continue, Speedboats, movie quotes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-18 16:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11294559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chira/pseuds/Chira
Summary: Boating trip that I finally finished lol.Check out jackinthebox123's version!My ending is better tho.Lets see if you can spot the sour patch kids.





	1. Let's go boating, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy my dritt.  
> Ledlelelelelle
> 
> Basically both Tord and Tom are in the army together but Tord isn't leader and it's just a regular military.
> 
> And they are sorta on a vacation.

Tord reached down from the boat, cool water swirled around his fingers. 

"Watch it commie, we wouldn't want you to fall in now would we?" Tom chuckled, adjusting the speed on the speedboat. In response, Tord flicked some water at him, sticking his tongue out.

"Wanna play that game now do we?" Tom grinned, pulling out a water balloon he had stashed in the boat before they went out on their date. He threw the balloon where it popped, soaking Tord's "horns." 

"Hey!" Tord groaned, trying to fix his hair. "You're gonna get it now," he laughed, pulling out a water gun and spraying Tom down with it. 

Tom laughed and threw more water balloons at him. Soon, they were both soaked from their heads to their toes. They had come to an stop when they both ran out of ammo, although Tord still reached over the boat and tried splashing him again. When he splashed him though, he accidentally splashed Tom's phone, which was not waterproof, and had somehow managed to stay dry until now. His phone sparked and refused to turn back on again.

"Way to go commie, that was the only phone on the boat."

"Sorry blueberry," Tord winked while Tom glared at him. "You're in for the ride of your life, strawberry." He chuckled. "Shouldn't have pissed off the captain." 

Tord grinned, wide-eyed and clung to the side of the boat. "Bring it." 

Tom ramped up the speed and started doing doughnuts in the lake. Tord laughed nervously, digging his nails into the side of the boat, while the front of it barley skimmed the water.

They went fast over their own waves and the boat lurched into the air, tipping over on it's right side. Tom was flung a good 5 feet away from the  crash. 

He swam up to the surface, coughing up water and seaweed. 

"Tord? Tord!" Tord couldn't swim. Tord couldn't swim. Tord Couldn't Swim!!!!!!!

He looked around desperately, remembering how Tord had refused to wear a life jacket, saying it was "weak" and "stupid looking." The boat was sinking under the depths and he went cold as a few bubbles floated up from underneath it. Was he...? He didn't have time to think about it, swimming underneath the boat and feeling around for anything human. 

His hands lightly brushed against fabric and he clasped onto it, dragging it towards the surface before the boat sank all the way into the murky depths. Some sour patch kids floated around them, leftovers from their snack. 

He lifted him up to the surface and gasped for air, leaning over Tord to see if he had a heartbeat.

...

...

Ba dup

...

..

He was alive! ...just barley though... He tried to get the water out of Tord's lunges but it wasn't entirely affective, since he had to fight to keep both of them above water. Deciding that taking him to shore was the best option, he started dragging him to the nearest beach. 

The lake was private, open only to the people who lived on it, and one of the reasons they went, so the beach he started swimming towards was part of someone's yard. 

He could only hope that they would be home.

Tord's old friend from the army owned a beach house on the lake, which was how they had come to go boating. Unfortunately, she was out on a mission and her house was on the other side of the lake, much too far to swim with extra weight.

He managed to drag Tord to the beach and laid him down, starting to take the necessary measures to clear his lungs. 

Tord sputtered out a ton of water, but his eye's remained closed.

"What the hell?" A girl who looked by the age of twenty had appeared from inside the house nearby. "Is he okay?" She stupidly asked. 

"Does he look okay?!" Tom basically yelled at the poor girl. "Call an ambulance!" 

She ran off to grab her phone and started dialing. The ambulance showed up not long after and took Tom and Tord to the hospital. They separated them and Tom was released shortly afterwards.

They wouldn't let Tom see Tord. 

They said he was in a bad condition. Even though he had seen him doing okay not long before.

He pushed them further but they refused.

After what seemed like forever, they had told him it was too late. That he was gone. 

He didn't believe them. 

He shoved his way through them to find a horrendous sight.

Tord had been cut open and torn apart.

_They_ had killed him.

 

...

 

The nurses.


	2. EDDSWORLD WITH QUOTES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me and jackinthebox123 are having a little contest for who can make the best story with a BUNCH of movie quotes.
> 
> Quotes are in italics.  
> Enjoy~

Tord, Edd, Matt, and Tom had decided to take a trip across the U.S.A in a cramped R.V. as a birthday gift to Edd. 

_ “It HAS to be PERFECT”  _ Edd had screamed while preparing everything. 

Tord walked up to him, laughing and rubbing his head, replying, “ _ You’re killin me smalls.”  _

_ “Whaaaaaaa?”  _ Edd had pouted, shoving Tord away playfully, making him laugh harder. 

 

Once finished packing everything up, Edd asked if everyone had everything they needed. Matt, not paying attention as always screamed “ _ I GOTTA JAR OF DIRTTTTTT”  _ while falling down the stairs of the R.V. They left him there with his jar of dirt, checking other things off on a checklist. 

 

Tord excused himself with an,  _ “Now if you’ll excuse me sir, I have important business to attend to”  _ and tipped an imaginary hat, exiting without waiting for an answer while they stared at where he left. 

“Well then. Two down, one to go,” Edd smiled staring creepily at Tom, who took a step back. Edd started making  _ “*kissy noises*”  _ and Tom ran off, falling over Matt who was still clutching a jar of dirt. 

 

Matt screamed, holding his now cracked jar of dirt, and started yelling random things like:  _ “Blubber, Pigment, oddment, tweak!”  _ and “NOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL DIRTTTT.” Tom clamped his hand over his mouth and only a muffled  _ “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH!?”  _ escaped. 

 

_ “May the force be with you”  _ Edd laughed, watching Tom try to hold down a very spazzing-out Matt. They quickly got up when they saw two strange guys walk down the street, one seemingly wearing a dress… and the other with a funky hat and a magnifying glass. 

 

_ “Elementary my dear Watson,”  _ and said some other things that they couldn’t hear. The other seemed flustered and responded,  _ “If this dress offends you, maybe I should just take it off?”  _ They walked away before any of them could see what happened next. 

 

Tord came back a minute later holding something behind his back. He walked up to Edd and handed him a stuffed wolf and wished him a happy birthday. Edd squealed and responded with  _ “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!”  _ and bear-hugged Tord, making him fall over on Tom and Matt. 

 

Edd held up the wolf for Tom to see and asked him if he thought it looked cool. Tom looked like someone had hit him across the face.

_ “Are you kidding me? I am blind!”  _ he almost yelled pointing at his black eyes. 

“Omg Tom I never knew I’m sorry!” 

“Nah it’s ok, I’m not actually blind,” he grinned and started running off as Edd shot him death glares and started chasing him.

_ “I will find you, and I WILL kill you!”  _ Edd screamed after him. 

 

Tord sat alone with Matt while they stared off at Edd tackling Tom into a bush. Matt started rambling off again, screaming  _ “MARGO HAS A BOYFRIEND!”  _ and “TOM IS MY FATHER NOW.” 

 

Tord made a wheezing noise and gave his best straight face.

_ “No, I am your father.”  _

Matt gasped. 

“Now, as your father, I command you to go get Edd and Tom in the R.V. so we can leave,” Tord told him, smiling at the end. 

“YES FATHER,” Matt yelled, running down Edd and Tom who were rolling around in the dirt. 

“HEY, THAT’S MY DIRT!” Matt screamed at them.

 

After they all had their fun and gotten back into the R.V. Tom sized Tord up and walked over to him. 

“Truth or dare.” 

“Uhhh… dare?” Tord asked confused. 

“Fine. I dare you to ride on the back of the R.V, on the expressway.” Tom concluded, grinning. 

“GUYS! That’s DANGEROUS.” Edd yelled at them from the driver’s seat. 

“Pfftttt, I accept the dare, I’ll be fine Edd.” 

 

So he rode the top of the R.V. all the way to expressway, where he leaning into the wind and screamed to the heavens,

_ “I’M SAILING!!!!”  _

 

Another car joined next to them with another person on the roof of the car. 

“Who are you?” Tord shouted to the man over the blaring wind. 

_ “Bond. James Bond.” _

 

_ THE END _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watson was in a dress X'3
> 
> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
> this was so much fun X'DDD

**Author's Note:**

> Yey for weird endings.
> 
> Poor blueberry and strawberry c=


End file.
